Untitled
The House Of Murphy
Murphy's home
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D
Darrow's Observation:
History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

Darwin's Observation:
Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

Dave's Law of Advice:
Those with the best advice offer no advice.

Dave's Rule of Street Survival:
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.

Davidson's Maxim:
Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.

Davis's Basic Law of Medicine:
Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.

de la Lastra's Law:
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Corollary: After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been ommitted.

Deadlock's Law:
If the law-makers make a compromise, the place where it will be felt most is the taxpayer's pocket.
Corollary: The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Dean's Law of the District of Columbia:
Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.

First Law of Debate:
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Decaprio's Rule:
Everything takes more time and money.

Deitz's Law of Ego:
The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Dennis's Principles of Management by Crisis:
  1. To get action out of management, it is necessary to create the illusion of a crisis in the hope it will be acted upon.
  2. Management will select actions or events and convert them to crises. It will then over-react.
  3. Management is incapable of recognizing a true crisis.
  4. The squeaky hinge gets the oil.

Dhawan's Laws for the Non-Smoker:
  1. The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.
  2. The amount of pleasure derived from a cigarette is directly proportional to the number of non-smokers in the vicinity.
  3. A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section.
  4. The life of a cigarette is directly proportional to the intensity of the protests from non-smokers.

Dieter's Law:
Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.

Dijkstra's Prescription for Programming Inertia:
If you don't know what your program is supposed to do, you'd better not start writing it.

Diogenes's First Dictum:
The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power he has to escape being taxed.

Diogenes's Second Dictum:
If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Dirksen's Three Laws of Politics:
  1. Get elected.
  2. Get re-elected.
  3. Don't get mad, get even.

Principle of Displaced Hassle:
To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Donohue's Law:
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Donsen's Law:
The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

Laws of Dormitory Life:
  1. The amount of trash accumulated within the space occupied is exponentially proportional to the number of living bodies that enter and leave within any given amount of time.
  2. Since no matter can be created or destroyed (excluding nuclear and cafeteria substances), as one attempts to remove unwanted material (i.e., trash) from one's living space, the remaining material mutates so as to occupy 30 to 50 percent more than its original volume.
    Corollary: Dust breeds.
  3. The odds are 6:5 that if one has late classes, one's roommate will have the EARLIEST possible classes.
    Corollary 1: One's roommate (who has early classes) has an alarm clock that is louder than God's own.
    Corollary 2: When one has an early class, one's roommate will invariably enter the space late at night and suddenly become hyperactive, ill, violent, or all three.

Douglas's Law of Practical Aeronautics:
When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.

Dow's Law:
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

Dror's First Law:
While the difficulties and dangers of problems tend to increase at a geometric rate, the knowledge and manpower qualified to deal with these problems tend to increase linearly.

Dror's Second Law:
While human capacities to shape the environment, society, and human beings are rapidly increasing, policymaking capabilities to use those capacities remain the same.

Ducharme's Precept:
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Dude's Law of Duality:
Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.

Dunne's Law:
The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.

Dunn's Discovery:
The shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the moment one puts a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the arrival of that emergency.

Durant's Discovery:
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Durrell's Parameter:
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

Dyer's Law:
A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
Murphy's home
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