Untitled
The House Of Murphy
Murphy's home
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H
Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation or an organization to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.

Hacker's Law of Personnel:
Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Hagerty's Law:
If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get rich or famous or both.

Haldane's Law:
The Universe is not only queerer than we imagine, it is queerer than we CAN imagine.

Hale's Rule:
The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Hall's Law:
There is a statistical correlation between the number of initials in an Englishman's name and his social class (the upper class having significantly more than three names, while members of the lower class average 2.6).

Halpern's Observation:
That tendency to err that programmers have been noticed to share with other human beings has often been treated as if it were an awkwardness attendant upon programming's adolescence, which like acne would disappear with the craft's coming of age. It has proved otherwise.

Harden's Law:
Every time you come up with a terrific idea, you find that someone else thought of it first.

Hardin's Law:
You can never do merely one thing.

Harper's Magazine's Law:
You never find an article until you replace it.

Harris's Lament:
All the good ones are taken.

Harris's Law:
Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Harris's Restaurant Paradox:
One of the greatest unsolved riddles of restaurant eating is that the customer usually gets faster service when the retaurant is crowded than when it is half empty; it seems that the less the staff has to do, the slower they do it.

Harrison's Postulate
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Hartig's "How Is Good Old Bill? -We're Divorced" Law:
If there is a wrong thing to say, one will.

Hartig's Sleeve in the Cup, Thumb in the Butter Law:
When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

Hartley's Law:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back you've got something.

Hartley's Second Law
Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.

Hartman's Automotive Laws:
  1. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on the weekend.
  2. Nothing minor ever happens to a car on a trip.
  3. Nothing minor ever happens to a car.

Hart's Law:
In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

Harvard Law:
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, any experimental organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Harver's Law
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress:
Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.

Hein's Law:
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back.

Heller's Myths of Management:
The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.
Corollary (Johnson): Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your organization.

Hellrung's Law:
If you wait, it will go away.
Shevelson's Extension: ... having done its damage.
Grelb's Addition: ... if it was bad, it will be back.

Hendrickson's Law:
If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings eventually become more important than the problem.

Herblock's Law:
If it's good, they'll stop making it.

Herrnstein's Law:
The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Hersh's Law:
Biochemistry expands to fill the space and time available for its completion and publication.

Hildebrand's Law:
The quality of a department is inversely proportional to the number of courses it lists in its catalogue.

Historian's Rule:
Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Hoare's Law of Large Programs:
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

Hogg's Law of Station Wagons:
The amount of junk is in direct proportion to the amount of space available.
Baggage Corollary: If you go on a trip taking two bags with you, one containing everything you need for the trip and the other containing absolutely nothing, the second bag will be completely filled with junk acquired on the trip when you return.

Horner's Five Thumb Postulate:
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Horngren's Observation (generalized):
The real world is a special case.

Horowitz's Rule:
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

Howard's First Law of Theater:
Use it.

Howe's Law:
Every man has a scheme that will not work.

Hull's Theorem:
The combined pull of several patrons is the sum of their separate pulls multiplied by the number of patrons.

Hull's Warning:
Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
Murphy's home
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