PART XI

September 14, 2010

"Where have the bodies been taken to?" I ask Sergeant Janson as soon as May is
gone. She cried when Janson's daughter came to pick her up but she doesn't need
to be hearing any of this.

"Bodies?"

"I assumed . . ."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Brumby. I didn't mean to imply that. All we found was a
wreckage. A damaged plane. No bodies were recovered," Janson says, looking
confused.

"I don't understand. If they aren't there, where are they?" I ask and Janson
looks down at his feet.

"We're still trying to determine that, Mr. Brumby. There's a lot of land out
there and with the storms over the last few days, our search has been slow to
say the least. But we haven't given up," he says, finally making eye contact
with me.

"I would hope not. That's my wife out there," I say, looking out the window
towards the street. Somewhere out there, Sarah is cold and wet. And she's with
him.

The good thing about that is I know without a doubt that he would never let
anything happen to her. I know she's safe and he'll do anything in his power to
keep her that way.

The bad thing about it is . . . she's with him. He'll keep her safe and I hate
him for it. If it weren't for him, none of us would be happening.

Of course, it can't be all his fault. She did go willingly. All these years, she
went with him and I'm sure he didn't have to do much to persuade her. Damn him.
Damn both of them.

I should have known I'd never be enough for her. Should have known she'd never
give him up for me. I was a blind and stupid ass.

"Mr. Brumby, if you would like to come with us, we were going to start searching
a different area of the park. You can stay here if you would be more comfortable
. . ."

"I'm going with," I say and he just nods. I want to go with because if Harmon
Rabb's not dead, I might have to kill him myself.

****************

August 29, 2008

"Hey, stranger."

Those two words are enough to make my heart beat hard inside my chest. Actually,
it isn't the words but the voice. I haven't heard it in person for a while now
and although I've spent months trying to convince myself that things would be
different when I heard it again, I know better.

I swallow hard and look up from my computer, unable to contain my grin. I know
anything I say is going to come out in a big stammer. "Hey! I didn't know you
were coming . . . when did you get back? What are you doing here?"

"This morning," Harm answers, still standing in my doorway, looking like he
doesn't know whether to come or go.

"You didn't tell me? Is something wrong?" I ask, trying to stop my hands from
shaking as I push aside my paperwork. I motion for him to come in and he looks
around before finally taking a seat across from me.

"No, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to talk to the Admiral about a few things,"
he answers.

"And to surprise me? You certainly succeeded at that. I wish you would have told
me so I could've cleared off my desk for this afternoon. We could have gone to
lunch," I start to say but stop, knowing that lunch would never be enough. Our
eyes meet and I know he's thinking the same thing. "Umm . . . let's see here.
When do you have to go back? Are you going to at least be here tonight? I can
see what I can arrange for tomorrow and . . . hey, if you're here for the
weekend, we're having a little get together for the holiday weekend."

I'm babbling now. My hands are in motion as I try to figure out what I'm going
to say next and how I'm going to keep this looking like a casual conversation
between old co-workers.

"Well, it depends on what the Admiral has to say, but I might be here for a
while so don't rush on that paperwork," he says, looking away from me.

"What?"

"I'm thinking about what we talked about. About coming back here," he continues
and I lean back in my chair, trying to think this through.

Over the years, since this began, I've reconciled and rationalized so many
things. Now, this is part of my life. I love Harm. And a part of me loves Mic. I
just don't know how to have everything I want.

Or maybe I'm too afraid to.

"Aren't you were happy there? Why would you come back?" He doesn't give me any
answers right away. His eyes dart around my office again and never really land
on me. That might give away too much and although I'm certain I'm the reason
he's coming back, I'm not certain Harm could ever admit to it.

"I miss flying," is all he gives me. I just nod my head in reply.

*************

September 1, 2008

I stay in my car, letting the engine run while I change the radio station a few
times, finally settling on an Orioles game. I sit and watch her house. Their
house.

I came back just in time for Labor Day picnic with the Brumby family. I wanted
to turn down the invitation simply because I'm not sure I'm ready to go back
into her house after what happened the last time I was in her house, but then
changed my mind. What reason would I have to decline it?

I shouldn't have any reasons. People would never suspect that I have any reason
to avoid Mac or Mic. No one has ever said anything in all these years. Yet, it's
hard to go in and face the man whose wife I . . . I don't even know what it is.
It used to not bother me but now, after all these years, this whole thing is
getting harder to face. I have to come home and face it. Running from it
certainly didn't help matters any.

Someone tries the door handle and I jump in my seat. Mac bends down and looks at
me through the window, an expression of concern crossing her face. I unlock the
door and she climbs in but doesn't face me. Now she's staring at her house, too.
Her tan legs are stretched out in front of her and I can smell the suntan lotion
she has on.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about," she finally says, but she still doesn't
look my way. She doesn't move at all. "What happened . . . happened."

"More than once. It's happened for years, Mac."

I don't add that it could happen again so very easily.

She closes her eyes and sighs softly. Her eyes remain closed while she reaches
for my hand, finding it without looking. Her fingers wrap around mine and
squeeze gently. "I know exactly how many times it's happened."

Neither of us says a word for what seems like forever. I keep waiting for
someone to walk out the front door or around the house and catch us here. But
what are we doing? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

"Have you thought about leaving all this?" I ask, breaking the silence. Now her
eyes open but she doesn't pull her hand away. I know that's not what she wants
to hear. She doesn't want to hear about leaving all this. She wants me to ask
her to leave him.

"Every single day. I'm a working mother of a small child. Who wouldn't think
about running away?"

"Yet you stay?"

"What do I have if I leave?" she asks and it hurts. It shouldn't. None of this
should hurt anymore but there is always a raw spot somewhere inside where the
right combination of words cause a little ache. "I have a home, Harm. No matter
how exhausting it is, I have a home where we're raising a very beautiful little
girl. She's safe and happy."

"Then what are you doing out here?" I ask.

"I'm here because I want everything. I want everything in there and I want you,
too," she says, her voice barely rising above the announcer on the ball game.
They're all excited about something but it's just noise. I can barely hear it
over the sound of my heart beating.

"What do we do?" I ask and her fingers tighten around mine again.

"Come inside," she says, letting go of my hand before she slips out of the car.
The door slams shut and I watch as she walks towards the front of the house.
Before going in, she pauses and turns toward me, motioning with her hand for me
to follow.

And of course, I do.

*************

"Here?" he asks as I pull him into the guest bedroom. We don't have a lot of
time. Someone is going to notice that I'm missing sooner or later. I shouldn't
be doing this but I can't help it. I need him.

"Right here," I say, closing and locking the door behind us. We don't make it
much further into the room before his fingers are tearing at my clothes. Harm
has my shorts and panties off and my ass up on the dresser before I can even get
out of my Keds.

I don't even bother stripping him out of his jeans. I just pull them and his
boxers down far enough so I can get to his cock. I feel it harden under my touch
as I wrap my fingers around him and pump. His eyes glaze over but he doesn't
close them. He doesn't look away.

"I need you. I need you now," he says, moaning as my fingers tighten around him.


"Now?" I tease.

"Now."

I let go of his erection and hold onto the edge of the dresser as he pulls my
hips forwards until I nearly fall off. He wouldn't let me fall. I know that. My
legs wrap around his waist and he slides into me with one deep stroke. I gasp
for air as he begins to pound in and out of me quickly. I gasp not only because
of the feel of him deep inside of me but because I never think this is going to
happen again. Each time we get to rediscover each other and the emotions are too
much.

His eyes leave mine for just a second and he looks over my head, to the mirror
behind me. He must not like what he sees because he closes his eyes, shutting
out everything that is wrong about this. His hips stop pivoting into me and for
a second I think he's going to just slip away. I let go and reach up, resting my
hand oh his cheek.

"I love you," I whisper and he smiles and shakes his head. "I want you. Even if
it can only be like this."

"This is fucked up," he says and I nod in agreement.

"It has been for years," I say and he sighs. I squeeze all my muscles around
him. He begins to thrust into me faster and harder and we both know that time is
ticking away. This can't last forever. Not this time.

I reach my hand down between us and touch myself and that gets his attention.
Instead of watching my face or himself in the mirror, he looks down to where we
are joined. My fingers circles against my clit while he continues to move into
me, my legs wrapping around him even tighter.

"God . . . so good," he moans as I slide even closer to him.

"Very good," I say, my voice raspy now from pure desire.

With that, my body begins to tremor under my own touch, and everything contracts
throughout me. Harm feels it because he looks up and into my eyes right before
he comes, too.

It was fast and not very pretty but it was us. Together again. And he's going to
be back here so the next time can be slow and romantic.

Next time.

My family is right outside and I just had sex with Harm and I'm already planning
the next time. I want him to take me flying. I want to fuck him against his
plane somewhere.

Fucking.

It's not that. It's so much more. It's just hard to accept that because then I
have to admit just how much I need him.

"We have to go . . ." he says, sliding out of my now sticky body. I'll have to
clean up before I can go back out to the picnic. Wash this all away and pretend
for a while that it didn't happen.

"They probably wonder . . ."

"I'm sure they do," Harm says, pulling up his boxers and jeans and tucking
himself back in carefully. The room smells like sex and I hope no one comes in
here. I'll have to open a window until it dissipates.

"Go on out there. Tell them you haven't seen me," I say and he just nods. Harm
helps me down off the dresser and I pull on my clothes as quickly as I can.
"Tell them anything."

"Or tell them nothing," he says, opening the door. He stops and looks at me
before disappearing down the hallway.

Yes. Tell them nothing. That has always worked the best so far.

**************

I make my way through the people here, casually answering a few questions about
what I'm doing back on the mainland. Harriet hands me a cold beer and chatters
away about how nice it would be if I came back to JAG headquarters. Bud is off
playing with the kids that are here today, throwing a Frisbee around.

A little girl with brown hair comes up, peering up at me with a questioning look
on her face. I recognize that expression. It's one I've seen for years on her
mother. She smiles back when I smile at her and I recognize that expression even
more. It's one I've seen in the mirror for even more years. The smile disappears
off of my face quickly and Harriet leans down to talk to May.

"Do you remember Captain Rabb, May?" Harriet asks and May shakes her head. "He
worked with your mommy."

I kneel down before her and she studies me curiously. "How old are you now,
May?" I ask. I know the answer all too well but she gets a pleased smile on her
face when she answers.

"Four," she says, holding up that number of tiny fingers, sticky now with
something red.

"Four already! Are you in school?" I ask and she nods, looking proud of herself.


"Preschool. I'm learning to count and read and I'm real smart," she says and we
both consider the other for a moment. She has her mother's beauty and her
brains. This kid is going to have whatever she wants someday.

"Just like your mommy, huh?" I ask.

"And her daddy," Mic Brumby says from behind me. I stand up and May climbs into
his arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He smiles at me, looking all too
pleased with his life. "How have you been, mate?"

"Hey, Brumby," I say not offering up anymore information. I look around to see
if Mac has returned. She hasn't and I know what's coming next.

"Have you seen my wife lately?" he asks.

"I think I saw her in the kitchen but I haven't spoken to her yet," I say,
looking towards the door leading into the house.

"I'll go check on her and see if she needs any help," Harriet says, excusing
herself and leaving Brumby and me to stand here with nothing to say to each
other.

"Sarah says you might be returning from Hawaii?" he asks and I nod, taking a sip
of my beer.

"We'll have to see," I say, unsure of my future right now. The Admiral didn't
have an answer for me yet and I'm on a holding pattern with my life.

Mic moves his daughter from one hip to the other, smiling at me in that way he
always has; as if he won something that might be taken away from him at any
moment. And I smile back the way I always have; as if I know something he
doesn't.

Finally, Mac comes out of the house and approaches the two of us. She wraps her
arm through Mic's and touches her daughter lovingly.

"I see you the two of you remember each other."

It's a really stupid thing to say and she knows it. Mic laughs and looks me up
and down.

"Of course we do, luv," he says, looking at his wife as if he can't believe she
just asked that.

"How could I ever forget someone I once beat up?" I ask and now he laughs again.


"I think it was the other way around," Mic says, his eyes glimmering with the
memory. I'm sure that if he only knew what just happened -- what has happened
over all these year -- he'd do more than kick my ass again.

"Oh, that isn't one of my fonder memories," Mac says, rolling her eyes. Mic
pulls her closer and May moves from her daddy's arms to her mom's.

"I got you out of it, luv," he says and Mac and I both shuffle our feet
uncomfortably. "That's all I care to remember from that time."

Mac pulls her daughter closer to her, as if she's trying to hide behind her
small body. I'm sure all she cares to remember from that time is how different
everything could have been.

****************

September 4, 2008

"You taking the job?" I ask Harm after catching up to him at the elevator. We
both stand a respectable distance from each other as several people are now
waiting all around us. Some have no idea who he is, having arrived after he
left. Others nod at him politely.

"That depends on whether I'm offered the job," he says, checking his watch.

"Do you think there's a possibility of that?" I ask. I never considered that but
one never knows. We both have tried leaving before and were welcome back. Maybe
this was the limit. The last straw. I suppose he could go back to Pearl Harbor
and I could just go on like this.

"There's always a possibility of anything happening," he says as the elevator
doors open and we all get on and face forwards. His hand brushes up against mine
and that little bit of contact send a warm current up and down my spine. Then he
presses something into my hand and I catch my breath. How many people are
watching us right now? How many people could guess?

"When?" I ask as soon as the elevator doors open and the people clear out.
Thankfully, we're left alone for a precious few seconds.

"This weekend," he says, looking down at the paper in my hand. "I'm going up
this weekend. I'd love it if you'd come with."

"I'll see," I say, shaking my head. God, it's the same old thing. Me telling
myself no all the while knowing I'll be there.

A young ensign shows up at the elevator and he stops in his tracks when he sees
two officers standing there staring at each other. Harm and I step out quickly
and try to look like we weren't just planning an illicit meeting where we can
finally be alone. Completely alone, not like we were in my house.

"Let me know how it goes in there," I say as we walk into the bullpen area and I
head toward my office.

"I'll stop by before I leave," he says and I stand in the doorway of my office,
watching him walk away.

***************

September 6, 2008

"I knew you would come," I say to Mac, her hand gliding across Sarah's wing as
she approaches. I watch as her fingers comes to a stop a few inches away from
mine but she doesn't touch me. I want to touch her but we both stay like this,
that small space between us.

"Did you? That's awfully presumptuous of you," she says, narrowing her eyes at
me.

"You're here, aren't you?" I say, teasing her some more.

"Maybe I've come to end it," she says, fighting the one corner of her mouth that
wants to turn up into a smile.

"Have you?" I ask, my fingers moving just a little closer to hers. Before
contact can be made, she moves away, walking to the other side of my plane's
wing.

"I should, you know. End this here and now," she says, not looking at me. We
both know that this should have ended years ago. This thing between us should
have died the minute she told Brumby 'I do.' But here it is. Here we are.

"Then walk away," I say, circling the wing after her. Her eyes meet mine and I
know that's not going to happen.

"She was asking about you, you know. May was. Harriet told her you fly planes
and she thinks that's just the greatest thing in the world. Mic was pissed off
all night because his little girl was enamored by a guy with gold wings," she
says.

"She's a beautiful little girl," I say, taking her hand in mine. It's quiet here
in the hangar. I have no idea where anyone went and right now I don't care. The
air is warm and is still scented of summer. That will pass soon and winter will
return. I'm not used to that now and I'm not sure I want to get used to it
again.

"She is," Mac says, full of pride.

"Just like her mother," I say, pulling her closer to me. Our bodies meet and
she's warmer than the summer air.

"Yeah. A sucker for the wings. I have to teach her better," she says and I
laugh. Her hand goes to my chest where those wings normally rest and she traces
over that spot. Thunder rumbles off in the distance, an afternoon shower coming
up upon us quickly. I was hoping the bad weather would hold off for a while. I
haven't taken Sarah up in so long and I wanted a chance to do it with Mac.
"Sounds like we're not going anywhere."

"No," I say, looking out the hangar door. The windsocks are blowing straight out
now and this afternoon is a wash. Well, almost.

"We never needed this airplane to fly," she says, her hands sliding down my back
until they're lifting up my shirt and touching skin.

"No, we never have," I say, rocking with her in my arms to the sound of the wind
blowing around this metal building. "Before this can happen again . . . before
we do this . . . I need to know some things."

"What?" she asks, looking up at me.

"You're never leaving him, are you?" I ask and that makes her eyes dart away
quickly. "I mean, I'm past the point of caring now. I think I know why you stay
but . . ."

"Someday," she says, her voice as soft as the whispering wind all around us.

"Someday when?"

"When I know you're going to stay," she says, her eyes meeting mine with a fiery
intensity. "When you're ready for everything my leaving will bring down upon
us."

"How do you know I'm not ready now?" I ask and she stops our slow sway.

"Because you didn't ask me to leave. You asked if I was leaving," she says and
now I close my eyes. She's right. That's what I said.

"If I . . ."

"Shut up, Harm," she says, pressing me back against the plane. Our mouths crash
down upon the other's and here we are again, right where we always end up. This
is all it's ever going to be and I know that. Bodies and hearts and a mess that
can't be fixed easily enough for either of us to deal with it.

Breaking the kiss, my hands struggle to get her out of her clothing as fast as I
can before anyone walks in on us. I look over her shoulder and the rain begins
to fall outside. It slams down on the tin roof of the hangar, hiding any other
noise around us. Washing us clean of what we're about to do.

Mac's fingers work my fly down quickly and I turn us around until she's the one
pressed against the plane. Her shorts are discarded along with her panties and I
go to lift her up but she stops me by dropping to her knees. Her hand reaches
into my jeans and she works my cock out of my boxers and looks up at me right
before she wraps her lips around it.

My hands smack up against the smooth surface of my plane as I try to find
something to hold on to. Her tongue flicks out against me and I want to scream
from the pleasure of it. I should. No one would be able to hear me over the
pounding on the roof and the pouring rain outside.

Instead, I remain silent as I begin to slowly thrust into her mouth. Her hands
wrap around my hips, guiding my pace and I find it harder and harder to maintain
some sense of control. With each brush of her tongue and change of pressure
around my cock, I lose more and more control. Like a paper plane whose wings are
wet, I'm going to crash soon.

"Mac, Jesus . . . stop now if you want more," I say and she lets me loose from
her mouth. I watch as she wipes the wetness from her lips and looks up at me,
still supporting myself against Sarah.

"I want more, Harm. More than you can imagine," she says, standing up again so
she's between me and the plane.

"I want you," I say, crushing her mouth beneath a frenzied kiss. Her mouth
tastes like me now and somewhere under that heavy male flavor I can taste her.
I've never forgotten what she tastes like. No matter what, it's always there
with me.

She pushes away from me, her lips now not only wet but red from the kissing.
"Where can we do this? Damn it. We're never going to see a bed again, are we?"

"Here," I say, moving her aside and climbing up into the plane, nearly tripping
on my damn jeans. I throw some blankets down to Mac and she clutches them,
waiting for me to return. "I keep those tucked by the emergency kit in case
anything ever happens. Again. Happens again."

"Good thinking," she says, only half listening to me. Her eyes are scanning the
floor of the hangar for a good place to toss them down. I step down from the
wing and take them from her, putting them right where were standing. I don't
want to wait much longer for this.

I take off my shoes and step out of my jeans all the way, casting my eye towards
the open door. No one is coming. No one will in this downpour. She pulls me down
to the ground, onto the soft blankets and I'm above her, sinking into her body
as she moans at the sensation. It was just a few days ago but this feels so damn
good.

Her legs go up and around my waist and I start to thrust into her. Now I don't
have to contain myself. I can go as hard and as fast as I want to, watching her
writhe in pleasure beneath me. Her eyes don't close, remaining focused on me the
whole time. I don't want to miss any of this, either.

I roll us so we're on our side, the blankets bunching up underneath us. No time
to bother with that now. Not when we're this close to something. I slip a hand
between our bodies and touch her, feeling her tighten even more around me.

I stop moving. I want to feel her as she comes. I want to watch her. She looks
away from me but I stop moving my fingers when she does that, forcing her to
look back.

"Don't be shy. I know you, Mac," I say, my voice raspy and barely loud enough to
rise above the sound of the rain.

"Yes, you do," she says, placing a hand on my cheek. "You shouldn't, but you
do."

It doesn't take long until her body is shaking, soft tremors moving over her as
she reaches orgasm. I can't help but smile at the look on her face. She can't
keep her eyes open any longer and her eyelids flutter shut as she struggles to
catch her breath.

"Move, Harm. Dammit, move," she says, grabbing my ass and pulling me towards
her. I move. I move into her as fast as the driving rain hits the ground. She
pushes back against me, meeting me stroke for stroke, her hips doing amazing
things.

Her eyes open again and I'm met with only one thought as I teeter on the edge,
ready to fall into her. She's not mine. This is not mine and it never will be.

With that, I come hard, emptying everything into her body. The rain picks up and
drowns out the cry I make as my body shakes with the pleasure of it. I manage to
catch my breath and we both collapse next to each other on the blankets. I brush
my hand through her hair, sweaty now from our activity. Mac sighs gently and
runs her hand over my arm.

She's not mine and she never really will be.

**********

I wake up to a near silence. The rain has slowed down until only a light patter
on the roof remains. The only other sound is that of Harm breathing softly next
to me, still deep in sleep. We're both wrapped up in his blankets and our bodies
are hot and sticky wherever we're touching.

Sighing, I run my finger down his cheek softly, so it doesn't wake him up. He's
changed so much since we first met, yet he's still the same stubborn person he
was that day. Stubborn and self righteous and . . . and I could go on. Yet here
I am, still falling for it. I wish I knew exactly when in my life I decided to
settle. I'm unsure of whether it was the day I married Mic or the day I slept
with Harm knowing there was no future in it.

My hand moves from his cheek up higher on his face, noticing that his short,
dark hair is graying at the temple. I never thought that day would come. I never
considered the two of us aging as quickly as we have in the past decade. Now my
days and years are measured through my child. I know that she's getting older so
I must be getting older, too. It's just that I don't feel like it could possibly
be happening.

I move my touch down, away from his face and across his chest, brushing across
the hair there. And them I go lower, over his abdomen that's still fit and in
shape. He's a little rounder than he was when I first met him but still just as
attractive. He could probably have anyone. Yet, here he is, in on the hard
cement floor of an airplane hangar with me. With someone he knows he can't have
easily. Not anymore. At one time it would have been so easy, in spite of
everthing he believed. Now it's a mess. A big mess.

I should feel more guilty for this than I do. At one time, right at this moment,
in the silence right after, I would have been sinking beneath the guilt. Now
it's what we do. Take it or leave it, this is it. I've lived with it for too
long to let it ruin me now.

Harm must sense that someone is staring at him because he opens his eyes with a
start. "What -- what time is it?" he asks, wiping his eyes.

"It's getting late. I have to go soon," I say, leaning in to kiss him. He pulls
me into his arms and holds me tight.

"What did you tell him?" he asks and I swallow hard. I hate thinking about all
my lies. Everyday I have to face them and right now, I don't want to be
reminded. It's not so much that I'm lying to Mic as I'm lying to May.

"I told him I had to review a deposition for court on Monday," I say, tensing up
under his touch.

"He never calls the office?" Harm asks.

"How would I know? It's not like I do this with a lot of men. It's not something
I try to get away with every Saturday," I say, sounding far too defensive. I
would ask him the same questions if the situation was reversed.

"Sorry," he mumbles, letting me go from his arms. I don't want to part like
this; angry over something out of our control. I want . . . hell, I don't know
what I want.

"Did you find out if you're coming back?" I ask after we both lie together in
silence for a few minutes. He didn't know the other day. Maybe he has had some
news by now. Harm sighs at my question and pulls me closer again.

"The Admiral said they need me in Pearl Harbor until early next year. Hopefully,
I'll be back by April or, um, May," he says and I swallow hard.

"That's a long time. When, ah, when will you be returning to duty?" I ask,
feeling tears well up in my eyes. I don't know why I assumed he would just be
here from now on. I should have known better. He's the XO and he can't just walk
away from that.

"Monday. I have to go back on Monday," he says, trying not sound upset about any
of this. He's doing a better job than I am.

"Maybe I can come see you there . . ." I start to say but he quiets me.

"It won't be that long," he says and I shake my head.

"So much can happen in that time. Something could happen. You could change your
mind. You could . . ." I go to say fall in love with someone else but I check my
words. "You could realize how much nicer Hawaii is than DC."

"Mac?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not going to find someone else if that's what you're worried about," he
says, delving into my biggest and most ridiculous fear. "That seems like a
rather strange for you to worry about considering . . ."

"I know," I say, not caring how silly or strange it may seem.

"Leave him. For me," he says and I stiffen in his arms. It's the words I wanted
to hear and he knows it. "I want you to."

I say nothing for a long while. We just listen to each other breath in the still
air. "If you do come back, I promise I'll think about it. But first you have to
come back, Harm. I'm not going to do anything until then."

"It's a deal," he says, smiling.

"Yeah. A deal."

***********