| Thoughts |
| by Coen Bust 'Ragdoll' |
| Dear diary. The wake up ring… If I don't switch it off it might ring again in five. Yes, it does, it does ring again. One would have thought the inventor of the alarm clock wasn't a sleeper. I am amazed every morning why I can't drag my lazy body out of bed half an hour earlier, so that I can read a newspaper during a non-liquid breakfast. I get out of bed, and move downstairs, stumbling of the stairs, I need a shower, so I'd better get one. Back in my bedroom, switch on the cd player, listen to a song. It could have been PetShopBoys, but it's not. Checking posts. Modelling my hair, but that isn't really time consuming, brushing teeth, reading posts. Get a paper and eat some bread. Get mad at myself because I am so lazy and have to hurry for the train again. This is the last day I get out so late. No it isn't. Walking to the railway station, it's still dark, walking under the trees, leaves are packed on the ground. I tend to fall down a couple of times but in an acrobatic way I seem to rescue myself. I could walk on the sidewalk though. But there's that huge dog walking a lady. And the dog doesn't really seems to like me, nor does the lady. It's busy on the station, people coming and go, all in a haste, trying to get the train. What actually is silly, 'cause in fifteen minutes another one will arrive. I walk to the back of the platform, wait a couple of minutes, predict what people will be passing me in a few minutes. I only don't see candy-offering guy. Probably sick. I get on the train. Somehow, most of us seemed to have claimed they territories here. I sit back, lay my head to the darkened window, close my eyes, and try to get some sleep. Dozing away. Thinking about things that keep me busy, the earth environment, it is ruined. I try not to make it worse, I assume my backyard is happy with that. Smoking is bad for your health, inhaling other peoples smoke is even worse, still I like to sit in the smoking part of a train, I enjoy the smell of a cigarette although I don't smoke. It costs me probably some vital years of my life. I study chemistry, again, this is very bad for my own health, and of course for the ducks in the lake, because that's where we dump our chemical waste. Our biology students are amazed by the wide variety of plants and animals. Every day a species is killed, might I mention we create ten new ones, per hour? I don't care about other people on the street that are being hit by a speeding bus, because they neglect the traffic lights. Christmas is not my most favourite feast actually. Although eating is one of my major hobbies. That, by a weird coincidence, seems to be very unhealthy for your heart and blood-vessels. And, by the way, it does snow on Christmas, in Switzerland. I hate people smiling at me, I am aware of the fact that I need a new haircut. I wish I could play with Barbie, but even Action-Man is out of my reach. But I could buy Action-Man one-size-fits-all socks. I hate cars, I don't like driving them, I don't like travelling in them, they stink, only the expensive ones are good looking, the cheap ones are being stolen and sold to Eastern European countries, they never go fast enough, if they will, you will be fined; and still, as an average Dutch citizen, I need to own 1,3 cars. Now tell me where I went wrong? Because I hate cars, I need to travel by train, but I don't like the old people riding trains, they are always packed with tons of candy and gossip papers. They travel in large groups, with reduced ticket prices and always seem to very alive for the time of day. Why don't they offer me some sweets, but do they stuff their grandchildren with hundreds per visit? I am obsessed by release dates, for several known groups I even cancel all my appointments and take a day off, just to listen to new material. I can speak for hours without saying nothing of important and people just don't seem to mind that. Love seems to be giving inspiration to many artists, but what is there to be said about it? I love you, I will always be only yours, and actually, that summarises all. Still, amazingly enough, there is more written about broken hearts. Weird isn't it, that those same depressing song really know their way into the hit lists. Aren't we all pathetic? I hate long sentences. Short ones too. Bubadubabubadum… What were they thinking? I seem to be having pronouncing troubles. I like to sing, but I just can't, my voice is more capable of breaking expensive collectable designed glassworks. I like to think my voice is capable of performing. Maybe it is because the stereo will always make more noise then my voice. I might just use that last rime in a song. Aren't vampires freezing during the night? Amazingly how people seem to trust me. What is it? I don't even trust myself. I am not depressed, I just don't smile and whistle the whole day through, I leave that to other whistling hypocrites. Another PetShopBoys remix, that I don't have as yet. I really love the internet this way. Totally amazed for the rest of the day, because of the chills it gave me last night. Why am I sitting instead of standing, I might feel more comfortable waiting while standing up. Maybe not though. I am not going to stand, people will watch me! Does she love me, she could, but she doesn't show it. Why does she ignore me sometimes? What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this. I bought you drinks I brought you flowers, oh, that's not true, I don't like giving flowers, they die. And you can't stand it when I buy you stuff. That saves me money though. Dear reader, you are still reading all this? I love the sun, I like sunny days, but I hate the heat produced by the sun. Nice bright light, only somewhat too hot. Notice how many people cheer up when the sun shines. Notice how other people use that good mood to get your money slash opinion. In no time the streets are filled with people who work for Greenpeace, the Aids Foundation, and cd order stores (I am sorry, not interested, I like the PetShopBoys). Streets filled with Inca folk making music, I always wondered where they would go during the winter? New Orleans is pretty. I guess so, never been there. Biking around the city, the same route, weekly more than once, it doesn't seem to bore me. During my night rides I sing. During daytime I've been caught singing, high pitched voice, I can't help it. It is just an urge. It's that same urge that makes me put a PetShopBoys cd in my cd player. This story already kept me busy for some hours. If you have been reading this and still don't get my point, that's ok, neither I have found it yet. It doesn't matter; I kept you busy and hopefully amused you. Your day might be better if you had a bad mood, and it might gone worse if you were already extremely happy. Oh dear, I forgot to wake up, I missed my stop. |
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